Dating: What's the point?

After reading Chapter 5 and thinking about my views concerning dating, I disagree with the “anti-daters” who argue that dating on our current social context is essentially “practice for divorce”. While I understand the point anti-daters are trying to make about the importance of relationships, I feel that dating serves as a way to discover what type of person you would like to spend the rest of your life with. Moreover, finding out what type of people you are compatible with is crucial, and I feel that dating serves as a great preparation for marriage and can be the key to keeping a marriage together. I agree with Donna Freitas and Jason King’s views that we learn a great deal from those whom we date, even if the relationship eventually breaks up. Dating teaches you how to care for another person and how to attend to the needs of others, rather than solely your own. I feel that Freitas and King’s observations about dating are true in the lives of young people today. I do not think that most of my friends are considering marriage quite yet, but I feel that the relationships they have now are in many ways preparing them for a long lasting relationship with the one they will end up marrying.

Having said this, I feel that the “Hook-Up” culture present on college campuses today is preparing people for divorce rather than marriage. When people form a relationship solely based on sex and infatuation, a good foundation for a lasting relationship cannot be built. Relationships should be deeper than “Hooking-up”; otherwise, one will not know what it is to commit to an actual relationship and remain faithful to one person.

Its that time of year again...

For me, Lent has always meant the beginning of preparation for Easter, and, of course, the dreaded “food fasting” and giving up unhealthy things. As I thought about how I have spent Lent throughout my life, I realized that I have not always taken Lent seriously or taken the time to appreciate the season. This year, I hope to observe Lent more strictly and truly contemplate the meaning of this time. In the past, I have given up chocolate and soda and refrained from eating meat on Fridays, but I do not feel that I have always considered why I was doing these things. In addition, I realized that I have always thought about “giving up” things for Lent, rather than doing something extra for Lent or “adding something”. Lent is a time for us to look at ourselves and realize that we are sinners and must turn to God for help; Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us, and we must work to be better people.

Although I do plan on giving up desserts this Lent, I think that I will view Lent from a different standpoint. In addition to giving something up, I am going to make a conscious effort to attend St. Francis Inn with more regularity, even though I might have to change my schedule. I also plan on helping my mom with my little brother more this season. She needs all the help she can get, and I feel that it would be good for me to spend more time with him. I hope that this Lent will be a transformative time for me, and that I come to realize Lent’s purpose more fully.

What is Love?

Love is a theme that permeates almost every song written today. Songs about crushes, breakups and everlasting love can be heard on almost every radio station. But, to quote Haddaway, “what is love?” What is it about this emotion or connection that makes love so celebrated? Different artists have had different interpretations of love and its meaning in their lives. I have highlighted a few that I found most meaningful.

In her timeless classic “At Last”, Etta James sings,

“At last my love has come along, my lonely days are over, and life is like a song.”

I think this is a beautiful depiction of love and its powerful effect. These lyrics portray unending happiness, deep friendship, and a feeling of completion. Ideally, I think that everyone should feel this way when they find the person they are meant to be with. Your spouse should be someone who makes you feel like you are never alone, and life should be better when you are together.

I also feel that Whitney Houston portrays an important aspect of love in her song, “I Will Always Love You”. I like her lyrics,

“I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all you've dreamed of, and I wish to you, joy and happiness, but above all this, I wish you love.

I believe that when you love someone, you should be as concerned (if not more concerned) about his or her happiness and well being as you are about yourself. Love is more than infatuation and romantic gestures; it is a deep friendship that should withstand difficult times. Both people in the relationship should make a conscious effort to make the other happy. Sara Bareilles’ song “Love Song” also discusses the fact that a relationship should not be one sided; both people need to work to keep their friendship alive.

I feel that Beyoncé’s song “Dangerously In Love” also makes a good observation about love. I feel that parts of love can be summarized by the lyrics,

“My happiest moments weren't complete 
if you weren't by my side.”

I believe that when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, life should always seem better when they are around. I feel that your spouse should “complete you” in a sense. I hope to find someone who compliments my personality, and who makes everything more fun and enjoyable.

I have always been a firm believer that your spouse should make life seem complete and should be your “soul-mate”. However, I am not under the impression that there is only one person out there for everyone. Life is unpredictable, and you might end up falling in love with someone who you never would have pictured yourself with. I feel that your spouse should be your soul mate, but I think it is naive to be searching for your soul mate and become obsessed with the idea of finding “the one”. I agree with many points made in the Busted Halo article. Finding Mr. Perfect or Ms. Perfect might be an impossible task and leave you feeling dejected and disappointed.

How does the media affect our perception of sexuality?

I really like this American Eagle Outfitters advertisement for one of their summer clothing collections. Not only are the models in the photo fully clothed in attire from American Eagle’s collection, but they are also portrayed having a good time in a nonsexual way. I think this is a perfectly appropriate ad that does a great job of marketing the collection to consumers. The models in the ad are still beautiful, but they are not stereotypical and seem very real. The two look like they are having a great time without being overly sexual. They appear carefree and happy, and the ad states, “Live your life”, which encourages consumers to be themselves rather than conform to a certain stereotype. I think this ad makes consumers feel good about themselves, rather than make them feel inferior or “average”. I would buy from this collection based off of this advertisement.

How does the media affect our perception of sexuality?

This Abercrombie and Fitch advertisement is intended to promote an Abercrombie summer clothing collection. I found this ad quite ridiculous considering the fact that no one in the photo is wearing any clothing from the collection; they are all in their underwear, which Abercrombie does not even sell. I think this is an inappropriate advertisement, and would be much more effective if the models featured in the photo were actually wearing Abercrombie attire. How is a consumer supposed to discover if they like the collection if they do not see the clothes in the ads? I also found this image to be very stereotypical. All of the models are white, skinny and fit, and do not represent the average teenager. I assume the goal of this advertisement was to portray to consumers that wearing Abercrombie will make you look as “beautiful” as these models, but I personally feel that it just makes ordinary people feel inferior or not pretty enough. If Abercrombie featured less stereotypical models actually wearing their clothing, I do not think that their collections would lose selling appeal. In fact, people might feel more inclined to purchase clothing from Abercrombie and Fitch if they felt they felt that people like them were modeling it.

Sources of My Identity

The newest addition to my family arrived on May 1, 2009. My little brother Michael has influenced my identity, and shown me what is truly important in life. Not many teenagers have the opportunity to watch a baby grow and develop, and watching Michael from day one has really taught me how important life is and how every moment is precious. I see God in his innocence and pure goodness every day. Every day, when I get home from school, he is waiting at the door, and runs over to say “I love you” or “how was school?”. He is only two now but he loves so deeply and unconditionally. It will be really hard to leave him next year as I move on to college, but I know that our relationship will remain strong and grow stronger throughout the years. Having a sibling 15 years younger is definitely a life changing experience for the better. I honestly can’t remember what life was like before him.